Frequently Asked Questions

Everyone needs something different and it is completely ok to let your loved one know that you are unsure how to navigate this.  We call it "Holding Space".  Let them know that you are there for them whenever they need it.  They may need space.  Some don't want to be alone. Some want to talk about the experience and others would like to not share. However they are working through the grieving process give them grace and allow them to process at their own speed.  Here are a few things we suggest.

• 1. If the baby was named, use their name when talking about them.
• 2. Ask if you can do anything with them for remembrance or to celebrate the life
• 3. Give space if that is what they need or be a comforting listening ear.  Emotions will range from deep sadness to anger to even laughter as they remember little kicks or pregnancy cravings.  
• 4. Don't forget the partners that also experienced the loss.  We have to remember that a loss impacts so many.  Spouses, partners, sibilings, close friends and family members. Everyone is experiencing their own set of grief and loss.  

We know that everyone is trying their best to comfort friends and family. The family may ask themselves why did this happen to me, why my baby?  Some will question their faith and themselves.  Certain phrases can imply this is happening to us and this happened to our children for a reason which is hard to process. These are some  statements that are not typically received well.

• "Everything happens for a reason."
• "Trust Gods plan"
• "You will get pregnant again."
• "At least you already have other children."
• "You have been sad long enough" or "How long are you going to be sad"
• "I can't imagine"

1. Have a special candle dedicated to your loved one and light during any time of remberance or on special occassions to feel them close.

2. Celebrate their life with a balloon/latern release or special dinner with family/friends.

3. Create a photobook/scrap book/shadow box with all of their baby belongings and pictures to remember what a beautiful time it was.  Even in the most difficult times we can find beauty.

4. Items of rememberance (T-shirts, jewelry, candles, car stickers, garden stones, wind chimes)

5. Donate to a cause on their behalf.